Life is always a series of roller coasters – the ups and downs keep our lives interesting and engaging in so many ways. As I get older I begin to question more and more when is it okay to put yourself first?
Our work, our families, and sometimes our friends put demands on us that are hard to live up to not matter how strong we are. Throw in relationship problems, an argument with a close friend, a difficult child, or an illness and the balance is tipped so far against us that we struggle somedays to get out of bed. Not that depression or mental illness is holding us down, it’s the weight or the stress or the pressure.
For some, the stress and pressure is partially self-inflicted. For me, it is absolutely that way. I always want to please people and that puts me in a position where I am often hurt, confused and sometimes full of guilt for things I know others do not let bother them.
It seems in many ways that people need to be superhuman and without flaws and weaknesses, that there is always someone better to replace you, that the job market is tight so you should be lucky you have your job. In that kind of market, with those kinds of messages, it seems almost impossible to say that you need time. Time to grieve, time to heal, time to be true to yourself. How does an employer know that you only need 1 personal day for an aunt’s death?
Time and again I hear stories of employers questioning sick days and doctor’s notes. And yet at the same time they talk about wellness and workplace yoga.
My recent surgery has reminded me that people will presume you can operate as usual unless you tell them. Unless you come right out and say “No, I cannot do that” you will not get the care and time you need.
Standing up for myself and saying that I am a priority is hard for me and always has been.
The idea that only children are spoiled and selfish definitely isn’t true for me, except maybe at Christmas :)
I am trying, one day at a time to make decisions that better my life and put myself first.
Slowly stepping away from things that have weighed me down so that I can be more intentionally and unapologetically me.
I am saying it’s okay to put myself first.
I absolutely LOVE this post! I have similar challenges as you do.
I *know* it’s ok to put myself first, but there is something always pulling me down.
I didn’t know you had surgery – I hope you are ok!
You are right that we need to speak up for ourselves, because people assume that everything is normal unless we say it isn’t.
What should we do for ourselves today?
I went to GoodLife and got a good workout in even though I had a PILE of work to get through!
Amanda@MultiTestingMom recently posted..Get Ready! Get Set! It’s the Hot Wheels Track Builder Challenge Time! {GIVEAWAY}
Thank you so much Amanda. Yes, it is so true that we are so good at putting others first! Congrats on taking the step to go to GoodLife such an important thing to do for yourself, perhaps even the most important. Once I am recovered I am getting back to the gym myself!
Kerrie @ Family Food and Travel recently posted..When is it okay to put yourself first?
I’m going through the exact same feelings right now. I haven’t thought much about me yet but I really need to.
Stephanie LaPlante recently posted..FunDayMental Friday
I’m the same way and always put other people first! My sisters constantly yell at mefor it! This is a great post- I have to try and pt myself first :)
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Thank you – it’s so easy to get caught up in other people’s needs.
I struggle with this too, but I also realize that I cannot help those around me if I am not at 100% myself. I guess it’s like that flight safety video where you have to put your mask on first!
My family always comes first for me. Sometimes there’s very little left for me. My husband tries to give me time to take a nap or work in the garden every weekend. I appreciate that he recognizes that need!
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If you don’t take care of yourself you cannot begin to care for others. The stress and strain will wear you down until you simply fall apart and then no one can pick up the pieces. There is NOTHING wrong with putting yourself first now and again. As long as it is not 100% of the time and to the total detriment of others it is healthy.
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I struggle with the same thing. It has never been easy for me.
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I think women struggle with this a lot and I know I do. I’m starting to not feel guilty about considering myself in situations and how it will affect me instead of just making do.
Grace Hodgin recently posted..I Create My World Book of Affirmations
I hear you on this but you have to remember if you don’t take care of your self you might not be able to help anyone else out.
Ann Marie DelFavero recently posted..Star Spangled Fashion
I agree, sometimes you have to put yourself first in order to be your best.
Most women struggle with this, especially moms. My husband is always telling me to stop and take time for myself but I always feel guilty. I am getting better but when I catch myself slipping, I remind myself I am of no use to anyone if I not here to help them.
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